Who Would You Rather Be?

So...when it all comes down to it, who would you rather spend the remainder of your life as: a predator or an alien (from the movies, duh!)? This is might seem an easy choice at first--but think carefully!

Do you want rugged good looks? Stylish dreads? Supreme muscularity? And badass technology? This describes the Schwarzenegger foe so dearly loved in the 1987 blockbuster hit 'Predator.' If you haven't seen it, you're wrong. If you have seen it but didn't like it, you're wrong. If you don't like the predator, you're wrong. Understood? Back to our creature discussion...this creature isn't stupid. He has great intelligence and the ability to create true civilization as we have come to realize over the course of the four predator-involved movies released to this day. These creatures are not mindless carnivores with merely basic instincts. Lookout Maslow's hierarchy...we're way past that now! No--anthropologically they are so more advanced than our pathetic species in every way possible! Their technology is radically awesome! Their achitecture is modern and chic yet retains a millenia-old religiosity found only in the temple structures of early human existence. And most importantly, they understand and recognize a code of law and ethics. Honor is supremely prioritized--even at the expense of death.

The downside to these beings is their eyesight. I would not be too happy if I could only see in one color--and with that one color very little detail. Is life worth living with crappy vision? So you ask about the combat mask with all its differing filters and vision modes...I don't know if it's worth it. But I have to weigh that heavily with the ability to jump huge heights and distances as well as cloak with my sweet technology! It just might we worth it...

Next we will look at the marvel originally introduced in the godfather of sci-fi horror: Ridley Scott's 1979 flick 'Alien.' This, ladies and gentlemen, is what started it all. All others have merely been copies. The sequel 'Aliens' builds on the first, resulting in what is probably the best sequel in human history! No joke--and I will fight you for that!!! (Not to mention 'Aliens' is one of my all-time favorite movies.)

These creatures are intelligent--but in a hive-mentality sort of way. Like a colony of ants. Individually, they do not possess true intelligence in the way we humans would define the word. But corporately, these beasts of horror run a system so emmanently complex that all would do well to shudder and stay clear. They possess an animal-like survival instinct: feed and reproduce. Nothing else matters.

Here's why you should consider choosing this creature over the predator...two words: acid blood. How cool is that?!? "Honey, the shower drain is clogged again, can you fix it?" "No problem, dear," as you carefully prick your fingertip, allowing a few drops of your chartreuse-colored acid blood to devour the clotted mess of hair and soap particles in the drain. Too easy...too perfect. And say goodbye to pepper spray. Why temporarily disable an assailant when you can melt his face off? I mean really, is the choice that hard?

Ok, so there are the facts, people. I didn't have nearly the amount of time to go into the detail that I could've gone into regarding these to superior life forms. I just am not sure at this point who I'd choose to become. Should the opportunity present itself to me, I'd like to do a sort of "study abroad"--spend 6 months living amongst the predator and another 6 months amongst the aliens. I would find a way to join their society somehow, someway. Then, I would have the knowledge to decide my fate.

Think long and hard about this one...it is no laughing matter.

Cheers, and have a great day!